You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have

When I discovered the unknown lump in my left breast, I knew something was wrong I had a feeling that it was cancer, I tried not to think that it was not but I can’t lie to myself like that. I didn’t know much about breast cancer, until I was assigned to prepare a persuasive speech in front of my speech class. I decided on breast cancer, I didn’t know much about it anyway and did my research. I didn’t have to prepare much or write an outline. I managed to dig deep and talked to the class unscripted. I somehow tied it all to what I was going through from the discovery of the lump and doctor visits to the fact that you or someone you know has been effected by cancer and I am one of them. Even though I didn’t know for sure at the time if I had it or not but I felt that I did. My cheeks trembled fighting back tears and that deep pain in my chest as I talked about my personal life with strangers for the first time it was scary but good it was practice for breaking the news down for my family and friends... after class one of the students came up to me and said I’ll be here for you if you need me... I was so touched by her and to confirmed I am not alone in this journey. As with many people who experience cancer, we’ve all been told we have 5 years to live with stage IV terminal cancer and there’s nothing we can do for you after conventional treatment fails. BUT I believe there IS! There are people out there who live beyond the statistics and have turn over to alternatives to fight cancer for good. That means changing your diet, eating natural foods that keep you alive, have a positive attitude, surround yourself with positive people, and following a spiritual path. I believe healing and restoring my health better than it was before. I pray every day for this cancer to go away. I am able to live normally have the strength to live on with a purpose and believing I am healed!


Late Post: 2/18/2015

Monday, April 6, 2015 1 comments
Well today's visit was not that exciting it was depressing...
The tumor markers have gone up the last three visits. Which means there will be a new treatment plan.
Current: Zometa ( IV Infusion), Arimidex (Daily Pills), and Leuprolide (2 shots)- once every three months, no serious side effects other than hot flashes and weight gain.
Options from doctor for change:
A: Zometa, Leuprolide, and Faslodex 500MG (2 shots). Because of this new shot I will need it once a month. As of today I have it get them every two weeks until March. side effects same as current.
B: Zometa, Arimidex, Leuprolide, and another daily pill don't remember name. 1 every three months. Side effects he says that will be annoying for me mouth sores, rashes, fatigue
C: Zometa, Leuprolide, and a new FDA approved drug from two weeks ago, has one patient on for a study. So he doesn't have enough information to give me on this one.
I even asked about removing my ovaries if it will benefit anything. But he said removing ovaries will just be a convenience to eliminate one of the treatments. But you will still need to come in for the others. So really there is no winning here.
I chose option A. Which means I have to stay in Texas.
I asked about my survival chances? Of course no answer... Wonk wonk...
Kind of good news the cancer I have is estrogen receptor positive metastatic breast cancer. It can be treated with hormone therapy for a long time. Hopefully this new one will keep the markers from increasing and under control.
Job hunting has been meh, most of the ones I apply for are online, and most ask if you have a disability or did and Cancer is listed as a disability. You can only answer yes, no, or do not want to answer. Of course they say they don't discriminate... Really like who are you fooling.. Ugh... Would love to find a job that can be flexible and accommodating with my health. I want to work in California, but flying back once a month would be too costly vs flying once every three months which would be doable for me until I find the right employer and job.
The struggle is real.
I cried today out of anger and sadness driving home while listening to crazy in love remix on repeat ok I love that song! tongue emoticon
Love you and thanks for all the support and motivation!

Life after Graduation

Yeah that happened back in December 2014! My long journey to complete my bachelors degree has come to an end. I am very proud of myself! Don't think I will go back to school to get my Masters anytime soon...

I took a mini break afterwards and flew out to Los Angeles to look for work. It has been very challenging to find work in the entertainment industry, even if you have great networks in the industry.

I searched every day for new job postings and applied for work at the many major studio websites and still looking. No call back and not even an e-mail to turn me down. It is mainly for Marketing or Assistant jobs. I'll  just keep thinking I am over qualified or my salary expectations are too high. I will not give up for sure! Hoping the stars will align for opportunities in film industry in the future.

In the mean time I have been dabbling with illustrations and drawing on my free time. As well has putting together a business plan for a business I want to get into, it is top secret for now.