You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have

When I discovered the unknown lump in my left breast, I knew something was wrong I had a feeling that it was cancer, I tried not to think that it was not but I can’t lie to myself like that. I didn’t know much about breast cancer, until I was assigned to prepare a persuasive speech in front of my speech class. I decided on breast cancer, I didn’t know much about it anyway and did my research. I didn’t have to prepare much or write an outline. I managed to dig deep and talked to the class unscripted. I somehow tied it all to what I was going through from the discovery of the lump and doctor visits to the fact that you or someone you know has been effected by cancer and I am one of them. Even though I didn’t know for sure at the time if I had it or not but I felt that I did. My cheeks trembled fighting back tears and that deep pain in my chest as I talked about my personal life with strangers for the first time it was scary but good it was practice for breaking the news down for my family and friends... after class one of the students came up to me and said I’ll be here for you if you need me... I was so touched by her and to confirmed I am not alone in this journey. As with many people who experience cancer, we’ve all been told we have 5 years to live with stage IV terminal cancer and there’s nothing we can do for you after conventional treatment fails. BUT I believe there IS! There are people out there who live beyond the statistics and have turn over to alternatives to fight cancer for good. That means changing your diet, eating natural foods that keep you alive, have a positive attitude, surround yourself with positive people, and following a spiritual path. I believe healing and restoring my health better than it was before. I pray every day for this cancer to go away. I am able to live normally have the strength to live on with a purpose and believing I am healed!


I Heart Nom Design-Preview

Wednesday, March 30, 2011 4 comments
T's for my teams running and walking the Susan G. Komen on April 30th and November 18-20th. Oh yeah and also the Carlsbad 5000. This will be available later for sale and the proceeds will go to Breast Cancer Research/Grants all that good stuff to help the ladies.

Update: Here's the link to purchase T's- BUY HERE!

What do you think?! You like it?! I know you want to buy one it is limited edition and can't get it any where else hehe...

Thank You Wivat at Acoustic-Colors (Click here to visit Website) for taking the time to design this on short notice! <3

F.A.S.T. Fitness and The Gonzalez Sports Academy Tire Flipping Challenge!

Thursday, March 24, 2011 3 comments
Check out the awesome challenge held at The Gonzalez Sports Academy (Chula Vista, CA) courtesy of Tom the best friend, athlete, trainer, and photographer ever! Love you!

Tire Flippin #1 from Thomas Mathew on Vimeo.

Winning Duh!

Saturday, March 19, 2011 2 comments
Good morning.... I am up and moving around today.
Went to CRTC yesterday for my second treatment and hung out there for 2.5 hours. I was expecting to experience the same side effects from the first treatment, but I didn't get any of that last night. I even went to bed early after I took the tamoxifen at 8. I just have tension in my right shoulder blade I got a few days ago. It comes and goes. I have my sister step on that part of my back sometimes, not sure if it's a good idea. Since having pain there can be linked to other parts of the body.

I think being able to move around is because of the vitamins, raw foods, and super juices I take daily. Including nasty carrot juice! Even the nurse said I have nice skin taking out the needle in my arm.

Went through my CBC/CMP blood results. Learning what all these abbreviations mean. I have to be careful with sugar! My glucose results is 111 and the average is 70-100. BUN (Blood Urea Nitrogen) is 20 over the average of 7-18. Looked at the cause for that and the only thing on the list related to me is too much protein. My MCV and MCH is low means I have some kind of anemia problem from the tumor and also not enough B vitamins. Forgot to buy the Bs when I was ordering all the other vitamins.One of my jobs for today!

Mom couldn't even look at me without getting teary eyed. She still thinks I live in la la land.

Follow Up with Doctor

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 3 comments
Went into to talk about my first treatment and what side effects I was experiencing. Which is nothing major just bone pains, hot flashes, and staying in bed for a few days.

Vitals good
Blood work is fine ( they haven't called me back about it so that's good!)
My tumor is the same size 8cm wide, no change in that yet... I heard the tissue should start getting softer?
My second treatment will end my menstrual cycle =(

Since I just started the treatment the results of my progress won't show until after 3 months.

I have some forms here to sign up for:
1. Consent to be part of a Research Study- A prospective observational multicenter cohort study to assess the incidence of Osteonecrosis of the Jaw (ONJ) in cancer patients with bone metastases, starting on Zoledronic Acid Treatment (which is the Zometa injection).
What is it ONJ you say?! It can cause the following and there has been increase reports in these symptoms:
Swelling of soft tissue around the jaw
Loosening of teeth
Exposed jaw bone

OH HECK NO I DON'T NEED THIS! I am hoping to be the patient who can tolerate this treatment. If I do this they will do diagnostics and monitor me while I am on this treatment once every 6 months for 3 years.

2. Consent to be part of a Research Repository-Same study as above, but collecting blood samples and dental imaging during the study. Same duration once every 6 months for 3 years.

I might as well do it to help myself and others for research etc...

In the mean time I am waiting for my second treatment on March 17.

See my favorite little man Ares who's visiting me with his mom later this month after my treatment.

Battle the insurance/medical bills/doctors in San Diego (HEADACHE! I was born in the US, paid my damn taxes, and I don't understand how it is difficult for me to get assistant being a citizen. People with green cards, visas, and immigrants get help right away I don't get it ugh!)

Figure out what I can do for work, I don't want to work for anyone right now though, and need stress free work to do I can enjoy.Which means I have to figure out on a project, business to work on.

Go back to school this summer.

Continue to take my non toxic vitamin therapy, juices, and eating organic foods. I am not hardcore yet I still smuggle in some bbq  & yummy cupcakes once in a while in my diet! Haha..  It's not easy switching over to the healthy side.

Going to the gym, zumba, just dance, hiking etc... if my body permits me.

Spending my last day with my BFF/Sister Grace Yan before she goes to Australia for 3 months. 

Skyping with Colleen. LOL the only person who entertains me while I am stuck in my cave. LOVE YOU GIRL! For making time for me xo

Lynda Chang just amazing woman with a big heart! For spreading the word and helping me with the boobie fund. LOVE YOU!